Brand New Atheist

That’s what my wife says to my girls when they get upset about something “Don’t trust your feelings because they will lie to you.” Yet isn’t this exactly what a lot of christians use to determine that their God is real? They use their feelings and emotions. Why do they use their feeling and emotion? Because that’s the only proof they have.

When you’re a robot like myself, feelings and emotions are easy to dismiss even when they’re your own.

I encourage you to dismiss your feelings about god and look for more. You may find that once you remove your feelings and emotions about any god, there isn’t anything left.

When I believed in God I also believed in all of that other supernatural stuff. You know, like miracles and ghosts. Like most believers I grew up thinking that those people I loved that died were watching over me.

I never really thought about why they were watching over me or when. Unless of course when I may have been masturbating. Why? Unlike during sex (with someone) when you don’t think a lot, masturbation allows your mind to wander while you’re pleasuring yourself. Many of those times I wondered if my Grandmother, Grandfather, etc. were watching over me at that moment. If they were, why? And if they weren’t, is that because there are rules to when they can watch over me?

Regardless of the fact that I thought people were watching over me, it never kept me from pleasuring myself. Which if you think about it is weird because most people would be embarrassed to be caught masturbating. But it’s OK if dead people watch you do it.

I could never reconcile this thought fully because it didn’t seem plausible that those watching over me would invade my private space like that. But like most people I just made that up in my head because that’s what made me comfortable.

When I became an atheist I immediately realized what a completely ludicrous thought process that was and how funny it was that I ever thought someone was watching over me at that moment.

So for all of us men and women that are the masters of our domain, fear not, for no one is watching over you when you are pleasuring yourself.

My daughter had a friend over and I did what normally do which is scare children. I burst into my daughters bedroom and yelled, “SQUIRRELS”, after the girl jumped I pointed at her and laughed and said, “You’re afraid of squirrels”. As I was taking them to a party we passed a church and I yelled, “CHURCH”, after she jumped I said, “You’re afraid of church”. A few minutes later I asked her “Why are you afraid of squirrels and church, what’s the connection?” She laughed and said, “”I don’t know”. All of the sudden it dawned on me and I said, “I know what they have in common.” my daughter said, “What?”, I said, “Nuts!”

My girls have been homeschooled and will be starting Montessori in 2 days. Today was an open house for attendees. We got to walk around and meet the teachers and see their work areas.

I only saw one teacher wearing a cross and one of the teachers looked like jesus, not kidding.

As I was walking around the very first book I saw was “God gave us this country” which made me think “Come on, seriously”. The second book I saw started with the word “Lord” and before I could finish reading the title I thought “This can’t be right” then I finished reading “of the flies”. OK, that’s better.

I guess now that I’m aware of them they are starting to stand out but I’m not looking for them.

These are the emblems I’ve seen on the backs of cars in just the last couple days.

I just deleted a comment posted in the “America was not founded as a Christian nation” article. Someone by the name of “Anonymous”, posted a link to an article about a former atheist turned believer in God.

That linked page had nothing to do with my article about America, nor does Anonymous indicate anything about why the post was made. Anonymous doesn’t indicate that it was a good article or that they read the book mentioned and it was worth looking into. They simply posted a link.

In essence Anonymous simply SPAMMED my comments page with an irrelevant comment. There are many other articles on this site that may have relevant to.

Sometimes I truly dislike the anonymity abuse on the internet. Everybody wants a voice and to be heard unless they are saying something they wouldn’t say to your face, then they must have their anonymity.

An anonymous voice is a nonexistent one. If you are incapable of saying or doing something and taking credit for it, then your audience will be anonymous as well.

I don’t have a problem with anonymity, my problem is the abuse of it and the unnecessary use of it. Spam exists because of anonymity.

One more thing: Anonymous, there isn’t really any true anonymity on the internet. Within 30 seconds of seeing your post I knew where you posted in from. Everything leaves an address where it came from.

I do, however, want you to comment, but please keep it relevant to the article in which you’re commenting.

Most of the time when someone ask me how I’m doing, I reply, “I’M BEAUTIFUL!”. It’s nice to invoke a pleasant reaction from someone. It makes people smile.

I say “I’M BEAUTIFUL!” instead of “I’M DOING BEAUTIFULLY!” because the reactions are funnier. And it’s easier to blurt out.

I’ve been doing that for about 8 years now and “I’M BEAUTIFUL” represents how I feel on the inside.

I’m quite happy, with my wife and girls, with my job, with my things, but I definitely strive for more.

People think that I was never very religious because they didn’t see it. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even my own wife has learned more about my previous spirituality since I opened up in this journal than she knew before. People who know me think they knew what I was about when it came to God, but they didn’t, because I kept it to myself. As I do with most things, it’s part of my personality. It’s been quite liberating to actually share information on this blog that I would have never shared before.

As little as two years ago I would listen to the same christian music tape in the car everywhere I went and I would sing along out loud. When I was by myself of course. I really believed and wanted to be surrounded by Gods love. It’s fortunate that when I realized God doesn’t exist it didn’t have a detrimental affect on me, I can see how it would on others.

I’m not trying to contradict myself at all. I may have said in the past that I wasn’t very religious but the truth is I was never openly or outwardly religious. I believed in God, I prayed almost daily for someone other than myself, I occasionally broke out the Bible to look something up. I didn’t spend my days reading the bible. I know more about the Bible now and have read more of the Bible now than I did in my previous 36 years.

I would like to thank the following people for some excellent tips on going public. This has been my own private blog until now.

Jacob Fortin (The Good Atheist) Website Podcast
John C. Snider (American Freethought) Website Podcast
Dave Van Allen (Ex-Christian) Website Podcast

This is my first Charles Darwin Day as an atheist.

Before now, I never gave Darwin much thought

Today is Darwin’s birthday. Born on February 2nd 1809. I look forward to the day that Darwin’s birthday is a respected national holiday.