If I died, would you remarry?
I remember a time when Karen and I had little conversations about this. This has to be on the minds of all christians at some point in their marriage. The church and the bible give you the impression that once you marry you become one and will spend your eternity together. So inevitably one of you will ask, “If I died, would you remarry?”
It seems to be a two part question. Almost as if you’re saying, “If I died, would you desecrate our marriage by marrying someone else?” and “If I died, would you remarry and have sex and more kids?” Oddly, these things seem important when you believe in an all powerful being that left a book behind 2000 years ago with rules on how to live your life today.
In a world where you believe in such things these can be important questions. Because to you, it says a lot about the person you’re going to marry or are married to. While I think most peoples answers would be the same, you really don’t want to hear the answer. Most people will remarry and have sex and possibly have more kids.
What changes when you stop believing in the bible and your church? Well, for me, I’ve decided if my wife were to die I would not remarry. Not because of some vows I said when I was 20 years old or some feeling of entitlement towards her. The truth is, I would never marry again.
My marriage is as important to me today as it was the day I got married only for different reasons. The thought of getting married has completely lost it’s meaning. Without an all might being marriage is just a government issued legal contract. Any new relationship for me would be like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
This entry was posted on Thursday, December 25th, 2008 at 1:55 am and is filed under Bible, Miscellanea, My Own Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
December 27th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
This is a situation that I am currently in. I have been in a relationship for almost 7 years, never married. We are thinking about having kids yet she doesn’t have health insurance…. the only option we have really is to get married to add her to my health insurance. True, you are correct, it is just a government issued legal contract, but without that it makes life really hard to exist in I am coming to find out.
December 27th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
chris, Best of luck, those are not the conditions in which I would want to make a decision like marriage. Marriage is not the answer to financial problems.
December 29th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
My wife and I have talked about this. If anything happened to the other we have decided that the living person should try and seek out a new spouse. New kids optional. I guess this is mostly because the “traditional family unit” has worked out so well for us, and as far as it is possible to discern also for our girls, that we trust that same format for further, continued happiness.
peace|dewde
February 4th, 2009 at 11:19 am
that’s actually very inspiring! i would do the same. the idea of remarrying is so foreign to me my wife and I have never even had that conversation in our 15 years of being together. Don’t think i’ll even bring it up.
btw, the Bible doesn’t teach you’ll be with your spouse for eternity. just the bond of man and women through intercourse makes them one. if you really study what the Bible teaches on sex and marriage, the americanized church version is pretty off base.
oh, one more thing. The Bible is literally a collection of letters, stories, and history records written for a specific people groups at a specific times in a specific places for specific reasons. We apply it to our lives today because of the connection we have to characters in the original manuscripts. But it was not written specifically for us.
February 17th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I’d have more sex but not marry.
February 21st, 2009 at 10:45 am
Actually the Bible does not say you will be with your spouse for all eternity but only for this life. Check it out in Matthew 22:
The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up children for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no children left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.”
But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.
March 22nd, 2009 at 5:09 pm
I would never re marry or have a partner if my wife died, no one could come into my life, as they would not want the memories of my wife around, and that would be like throwing everything that we had together away to please someone else, no way hosay.
Had a nephew, he lost his wife at a young age, later he met someone new, all memories put away including photos, they marry have a child, later she runs off with someone else and gets most of the house, re marry never.
have someone you see now and then, yeh thats ok, but move in, i think not.
May 11th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Yeh, a lot of the Christians that actually think critically about it don’t think they’ll be up there with their loved… in magical make believe land.
August 14th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
If I die, will you re-marry. My husband, as I see him, is not a church-goer and certainly doesn’t talk much about GOD. That being said, I want him to be happy. So, if I die, I want what is best for him and my children. I leave that up to him. He’s a man that absolutely deserves the best and if a “new” wife is the best for him, then so be it.
Thank you, Rob, for making me think!! This is why I have friends from all walks of life and I appreciate them all.
August 15th, 2009 at 3:13 am
You’re welcome.