Ghosts and Masturbation
When I believed in God I also believed in all of that other supernatural stuff. You know, like miracles and ghosts. Like most believers I grew up thinking that those people I loved that died were watching over me.
I never really thought about why they were watching over me or when. Unless of course when I may have been masturbating. Why? Unlike during sex (with someone) when you don’t think a lot, masturbation allows your mind to wander while you’re pleasuring yourself. Many of those times I wondered if my Grandmother, Grandfather, etc. were watching over me at that moment. If they were, why? And if they weren’t, is that because there are rules to when they can watch over me?
Regardless of the fact that I thought people were watching over me, it never kept me from pleasuring myself. Which if you think about it is weird because most people would be embarrassed to be caught masturbating. But it’s OK if dead people watch you do it.
I could never reconcile this thought fully because it didn’t seem plausible that those watching over me would invade my private space like that. But like most people I just made that up in my head because that’s what made me comfortable.
When I became an atheist I immediately realized what a completely ludicrous thought process that was and how funny it was that I ever thought someone was watching over me at that moment.
So for all of us men and women that are the masters of our domain, fear not, for no one is watching over you when you are pleasuring yourself.
Tags: Ghosts, Masturbation
This entry was posted on Thursday, October 9th, 2008 at 3:05 pm and is filed under Miscellanea, My Own Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
October 9th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
ahahaha! that’s *awesome*. I’ve wondered what my (living) parents might do if they found me having sex (before I was married, shock! horror!) but I guess I never thought about dead people while masturbating… ;)
October 21st, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Dude, that’s hilarious.
Now that you are an atheist, and you have complete privacy in this matter, you announce it on the interwebs.
Oh, the irony.
peace|dewde
October 24th, 2008 at 5:10 am
I remember when I was a believer, I used to agonize about masturbation, forcing myself to “compensate God” for every time I did. I prayed and trained, which were “painful enough to show my remorse”.
I also remember it took me a little time, even after I became an apostate, to fully efface that feeling of being “dirty” or “guilty”. But I’d never have achieved that without losing the idiotic notion that someone out there actually gives a damn about me playing with myself.
October 24th, 2008 at 8:45 am
When I was an atheist the only thing I feared was being found out by family and friends. The social stigma was really the only relevant concern and that wasn’t nearly strong enough to dissuade me from it.
peace|dewde
November 9th, 2008 at 10:39 am
My attitude now is – even if they are watching me, so what? They probably did the same thing to when they were alive.
And anyway, if they ARE watching, who’s the biggest pervert, them or me?
December 24th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I had the same angst as a teenager, went through all of the wrangling about my “sin of Onan” and all of the self-loathing over my own sexuality, which I justified and enforced in myself via the “bible”. And then I whacked off again. Rinse, wash, repeat.
What a crock of shit! I was so dumb to believe this and shut that part of myself down for so long, when I could have been (safely & responsibly) exploring my sexuality with others.
Christianity took this from me and I still deeply resent it.
August 14th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
I’ve decided that you are a big thinker. Am I so small minded that these kinds of things DON’T go through my mind??
I’ve read 4 articles and I’ve decided that religion or non-religion just doesn’t concern me as much as it concerns you.
I just want to have a happy day, each day.
August 15th, 2009 at 3:16 am
I see religion for the harmful thing it is not the American watered down version. Religion leads to ignorance.